work is becoming less challenging and more unrewarding for me. i feel like i need to start thinking seriously about my REAL next steps. after i'm done summer school i've accepted one of the full-time teller positions at the branch. i'm totally psyched about it... yet also feel like i'm not really making good use of my time and finding something else better to do. i feel like i've grown complacent with my job, everything is just all the same. it's like... hitting that one year mark doesn't make things any better (especially with a job in the service industry). and what's worse is that having a full-time job doesn't make me feel any more secure. it just makes me feel like a boring old lady who does teller work at one of the most demanding and highly rated customer service banks in canada (btw... we won 3 yrs in a row for best customer service. in your flippin face cibc[just because i hate that bank]).

anyway... am i supposed to feel this way? turning 23 soon and kinda stuck in a hole... not going anywhere... and totally not getting the excitement a soon-to-be post-graduate student should have? i wish i was like others in my age group. i want to explore the world. i want to work in another city... outside of my comfort zone. i want to meet interesting people that i haven't already met. i want to leave my shell and stop being a hermit. i want to be like the girls in sex in the city... but without the men, sex or mr. big... just want to be... in the city....................?

i'm totally not making sense anymore. but i'm getting kinda freaked out by how much i'm settling for a regular joe blow life and most likely get married by the time i'm 25 and have kids when i'm 27. ray just told me how someone he knows who just got married a while back is ready to pop out a kid in july. FREAKY. i don't want to be like that. i want to party... with my non-existent and imaginary friends. i want to be cool and hip and God knows what else. i want to do yoga and lose weight and be pretty and smart and get a REAL job that pays me beyond just mediocre. i want to just be... alive.

God.. why is it so hard to be alive and living a life that's fulfilling...?




and God... why am i so picky when it comes to picking a new cell phone?

This weekend I attended Deacon Roson's funeral. Although I didn't know him very well, I had a great deal of respect for him and loved the fact that he was such a great leader and example in the church. I didn't think I'd be so emotional, but when the service started and we began singing songs... gosh.. the floodgates opened and tears were just pouring down. I guess I didn't realize how big of an impact Deacon Roson made in my Christian life when it began at NTCBC. The fact that his funeral was filled with praise songs reminded me of how I great it felt whenever I heard him sing hymns so loudly or the birthday song (my favourite!!!) or pray with so much conviction and power for communion. I especially loved hearing Deacon Roson pray... and I'm really sad to see him go. However, it's great that I got a chance to know such a Godly man and that we can all find peace knowing he's gone back to his heavenly home :)



Yesterday Raymond and I went glasses shopping! YAY! I can't wait to get my new glasses! And I'm so glad that Raymond steered me away from buying anything at Lenscrafters! HAR HAR HAR! I got such a better deal at this store that Raymond knows. :D Although.. I'm still kinda iffy about the glasses that I chose. I hope I don't look too "see lai" in them with all the sparklies... haha. I wish the actual frame part where it holds the lenses was darker in colour... but still... already made the choice to go with it so no turning back. :P

Anyway.. I think it's time to stop procrastinating and actually start studying.

ok... so i suggested to my co-workers that we should all go out clubbing. yay! they're all in for it... and now i kinda just wanna stay home and lay around tonight. why do i suggest things that i end up not wanting to go to? ugh.

anyway... raymond's camera's been getting all decked with these new gadgets and accessories. honestly... that thing has more accesories than i have.... and i'm a GIRL! sigh... i always thought men's best friends were dogs... and if that camera was a dog... and it was named d80.. ok.. fine.. i can love it too because it'd be cute and cuddly and all furry and i can have an excuse to make raymond touch its poo. but nooooooo. raymond's new best friend is a camera that doesn't talk, that can take very clear pictures of my ugly zits and blackheads and oily skin, it weighs more than me (metaphorically speaking... sadly), it doesn't poo out anything except for used up batteries and ugly photos of yours truly, and does all these flashy things with the detachable flash thing. and knowing raymond.. he's gonna get all up in my case now about bashing his new best friend and saying that i shouldn't take him away from his new found hobby.

i guess all i can do now is admit defeat... i can never beat that dumb camera.

dammit.

ok... i officially hate pizza pizza.

why?

BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET MY 2 FOR 1 CN TOWER COUPON.

wtfrigg.

why couldn't they tell me that there wasn't any more of those coupons left? i mean... that's the whole reason why i bought the pizza.

well.. that and also because i'm feelin down and need some comfort food.

man... i was so looking forward to going up to CN Tower with my sister. i wanted to bring her for the longest time but was so cheap about it.

should've ordered the pizza 2 weeks ago. dammit.

i have a pet peeve.

i hate it when people take pictures of themselves jumping.

ok.. so one or two pictures are ok. alright.. even five.

but when you do jumping pictures EVERY SINGLE TIME you take a photo and post it up on facebook. honestly... what the -.

i really have no interest in how high you can jump, what "silly" or "cool" poses you can make, how much you can defy gravity with your very "light" weight. just stop taking those kinds of pictures. it's annoying. it's so childish. and honestly... i don't find it to be fun or hilarious to look at when EVERY PICTURE LOOKS THE SAME.

and if you're wondering... yes.. i take boring pictures where i smile till my cheeks hurt. and no.. i don't take pictures which require me to jump because... i won't be shy to admit it... i'm to friggin fat to jump as high as you.
and honestly... jumping high doesn't mean you're not fat.
ok?!

i'm f-ing ben afflect

the response.

i'm f-ing matt damon

so funny

to D & S: ok.. blonde and blonde-er. you guys are just too much! Happy CNY to you too. I think YOU should be giving ME some red pockets... as I am very poor as of late. HAR HAR HAR.

My trip to Shanghai was absolutely fantastic! I miss the smog, the nonexistent snow and snow crisis, the 4am fireworks that wake me up, the crazy old men who bike against traffic, the crazy drivers who don't signal when changing lanes and stop in the middle of the on-ramp to the highway, the crappy steaks that look like pork, the starbucks cheese cakes and tuna puffs, the cold malls that don't have heating even when it's frickin freezing outside, the crappy and watered down drinks, the food poisoning and barfing, the hospitals, the pig next door, and my parents.

My mom and dad look so weird in that picture.. but I love it! Can't wait to go back again :)