i am a closet blogaholic

2008-05-09T23:18:00.003-04:00

work is becoming less challenging and more unrewarding for me. i feel like i need to start thinking seriously about my REAL next steps. after i'm done summer school i've accepted one of the full-time teller positions at the branch. i'm totally psyched about it... yet also feel like i'm not really making good use of my time and finding something else better to do. i feel like i've grown complacent with my job, everything is just all the same. it's like... hitting that one year mark doesn't make things any better (especially with a job in the service industry). and what's worse is that having a full-time job doesn't make me feel any more secure. it just makes me feel like a boring old lady who does teller work at one of the most demanding and highly rated customer service banks in canada (btw... we won 3 yrs in a row for best customer service. in your flippin face cibc[just because i hate that bank]).

anyway... am i supposed to feel this way? turning 23 soon and kinda stuck in a hole... not going anywhere... and totally not getting the excitement a soon-to-be post-graduate student should have? i wish i was like others in my age group. i want to explore the world. i want to work in another city... outside of my comfort zone. i want to meet interesting people that i haven't already met. i want to leave my shell and stop being a hermit. i want to be like the girls in sex in the city... but without the men, sex or mr. big... just want to be... in the city....................?

i'm totally not making sense anymore. but i'm getting kinda freaked out by how much i'm settling for a regular joe blow life and most likely get married by the time i'm 25 and have kids when i'm 27. ray just told me how someone he knows who just got married a while back is ready to pop out a kid in july. FREAKY. i don't want to be like that. i want to party... with my non-existent and imaginary friends. i want to be cool and hip and God knows what else. i want to do yoga and lose weight and be pretty and smart and get a REAL job that pays me beyond just mediocre. i want to just be... alive.

God.. why is it so hard to be alive and living a life that's fulfilling...?

and God... why am i so picky when it comes to picking a new cell phone?

2008-04-09T10:17:00.002-04:00

This weekend I attended Deacon Roson's funeral. Although I didn't know him very well, I had a great deal of respect for him and loved the fact that he was such a great leader and example in the church. I didn't think I'd be so emotional, but when the service started and we began singing songs... gosh.. the floodgates opened and tears were just pouring down. I guess I didn't realize how big of an impact Deacon Roson made in my Christian life when it began at NTCBC. The fact that his funeral was filled with praise songs reminded me of how I great it felt whenever I heard him sing hymns so loudly or the birthday song (my favourite!!!) or pray with so much conviction and power for communion. I especially loved hearing Deacon Roson pray... and I'm really sad to see him go. However, it's great that I got a chance to know such a Godly man and that we can all find peace knowing he's gone back to his heavenly home :)

Yesterday Raymond and I went glasses shopping! YAY! I can't wait to get my new glasses! And I'm so glad that Raymond steered me away from buying anything at Lenscrafters! HAR HAR HAR! I got such a better deal at this store that Raymond knows. :D Although.. I'm still kinda iffy about the glasses that I chose. I hope I don't look too "see lai" in them with all the sparklies... haha. I wish the actual frame part where it holds the lenses was darker in colour... but still... already made the choice to go with it so no turning back. :P

Anyway.. I think it's time to stop procrastinating and actually start studying.

2008-03-29T09:49:00.002-04:00

ok... so i suggested to my co-workers that we should all go out clubbing. yay! they're all in for it... and now i kinda just wanna stay home and lay around tonight. why do i suggest things that i end up not wanting to go to? ugh.

anyway... raymond's camera's been getting all decked with these new gadgets and accessories. honestly... that thing has more accesories than i have.... and i'm a GIRL! sigh... i always thought men's best friends were dogs... and if that camera was a dog... and it was named d80.. ok.. fine.. i can love it too because it'd be cute and cuddly and all furry and i can have an excuse to make raymond touch its poo. but nooooooo. raymond's new best friend is a camera that doesn't talk, that can take very clear pictures of my ugly zits and blackheads and oily skin, it weighs more than me (metaphorically speaking... sadly), it doesn't poo out anything except for used up batteries and ugly photos of yours truly, and does all these flashy things with the detachable flash thing. and knowing raymond.. he's gonna get all up in my case now about bashing his new best friend and saying that i shouldn't take him away from his new found hobby.

i guess all i can do now is admit defeat... i can never beat that dumb camera.

dammit.

2008-03-13T21:07:00.002-04:00

ok... i officially hate pizza pizza.

why?

BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET MY 2 FOR 1 CN TOWER COUPON.

wtfrigg.

why couldn't they tell me that there wasn't any more of those coupons left? i mean... that's the whole reason why i bought the pizza.

well.. that and also because i'm feelin down and need some comfort food.

man... i was so looking forward to going up to CN Tower with my sister. i wanted to bring her for the longest time but was so cheap about it.

should've ordered the pizza 2 weeks ago. dammit.

2008-03-05T22:37:00.002-05:00

i have a pet peeve.

i hate it when people take pictures of themselves jumping.

ok.. so one or two pictures are ok. alright.. even five.

but when you do jumping pictures EVERY SINGLE TIME you take a photo and post it up on facebook. honestly... what the -.

i really have no interest in how high you can jump, what "silly" or "cool" poses you can make, how much you can defy gravity with your very "light" weight. just stop taking those kinds of pictures. it's annoying. it's so childish. and honestly... i don't find it to be fun or hilarious to look at when EVERY PICTURE LOOKS THE SAME.

and if you're wondering... yes.. i take boring pictures where i smile till my cheeks hurt. and no.. i don't take pictures which require me to jump because... i won't be shy to admit it... i'm to friggin fat to jump as high as you.
and honestly... jumping high doesn't mean you're not fat.
ok?!

i'm f-ing ben afflect

2008-02-28T00:14:00.001-05:00

the response.

i'm f-ing matt damon

2008-02-28T00:13:00.001-05:00

so funny

2008-02-25T23:07:00.003-05:00

to D & S: ok.. blonde and blonde-er. you guys are just too much! Happy CNY to you too. I think YOU should be giving ME some red pockets... as I am very poor as of late. HAR HAR HAR.

My trip to Shanghai was absolutely fantastic! I miss the smog, the nonexistent snow and snow crisis, the 4am fireworks that wake me up, the crazy old men who bike against traffic, the crazy drivers who don't signal when changing lanes and stop in the middle of the on-ramp to the highway, the crappy steaks that look like pork, the starbucks cheese cakes and tuna puffs, the cold malls that don't have heating even when it's frickin freezing outside, the crappy and watered down drinks, the food poisoning and barfing, the hospitals, the pig next door, and my parents.

My mom and dad look so weird in that picture.. but I love it! Can't wait to go back again :)

2008-02-06T00:47:00.000-05:00

It's good to be back in Shanghai!!! And it's good to be done my essay!!! YAY!

I just watched this youtube video of Edison Chen making a statement about his naked photos with his ex-girlfriends. I honestly don't know much about what happened... but that video made him look real dumb. Why can't he just issue a written statement? Why the hell did he have to act all cool by saying it in english instead of cantonese... I mean... the people that put your photos probably won't understand you anyway. And asking people to "help the innocent victims" by destroying the pictures.... oh please... like people would listen. Well... maybe die hard Edison Chen fans will listen. So to Edison Chen.. you're just a dumbass. You can't sing, you don't look all that great... and you're honestly the biggest dumbass in HK entertainment. I have absolutely no sympathy for you.... and especially with this video that you put out... you're just dumb.

2008-02-01T12:26:00.000-05:00

I'm leaving for Shanghai tomorrow... yay! While I'm packing up all my things and cleaning my room, I found a note from Raymond on the table. I can't really remember when he wrote it to me, but just reading the note, looking at the weather outside, knowing how much he is concerned for my health and well-being... i just feel so blessed that he cares so deeply for me. It's weird yet also very comforting knowing that he always knows what to say/write/do at the right time and in the right place - even when he's not actually physically here and in Toronto with me.

Actually.. lately he's been dead on about stuff that I want him to do/stuff that I am about to do.. even before I open my mouth. And everytime he gets those things right and tells me he's done them already... I just feel like I love him a little more because he knows me inside and out. *sigh* Yet it still drives me crazy because he's been having the upper hand all the time these past few weeks. grrrr.....

Anyway... better continue packing.

2008-01-31T09:05:00.000-05:00

wow. haven't blogged in a while. i have decided to start it up again. maybe it's just because i'm procrastinating. or maybe i just know that hardly anyone would come and read this.

few things i have to say:

- i'm in love with my job and my co-workers. i don't think i've ever worked with more wonderful people than this. my managers are awesome and have been so encouraging in showing me the potential i have to accomplish great things!
- i am attached to my boyfriend at the hip and i love it. i love that we work next to each other, see each other every single day and that he's my best friend. i love that he can deal with my stubborn personality and that he really knows how to take care of me and appreciate me. i don't think i've ever felt so loved by anyone who was not obligated to love me. i am totally consumed in this relationship and despite what people have warned me about, i love that my life revolves around raymond. (yes.. i want to gag because i can't believe i'm writing such things about my relationship)
- outside of my relationship with my boyfriend, i honestly have very few friends. i am lazy at keeping in touch with people. i am lazy at starting new relationships with people. i am just a loner that doesn't see why i really need to force myself to be with friends constantly. i've had people tell me that i should immerse myself with my church community and how i need to make more of an effort to care for others and that people don't just come my way without me putting effort. quite frankly... i do have friends that i love and that they have been awesome even if i meet up with them like... once every 12903290382 years, but they also understand that although we're not all always constantly talking, we don't need to be talking with each other all the time to be "friends". and even if i do see them all the time, i'm pretty sure i'm going to suffocate them with all my problems that they would probably want to take a break from me and never be my friend ever again. (no kidding.. this has happened many times now)
- my walk with God is pretty crappy. what can i say? i'm a lazy christian. i miss my talks with Him, i miss church life, i miss serving Him. but i haven't quite figured myself out yet. i haven't been able to come to terms with how church life has affected me and how hypocritical i've been as a christian. i love God so much.. yet i can't seem to find a community that i feel comfortable to share this love with. i don't like the feeling i get whenever i'm with really conservative christians who feel like they have to love me when really they are thinking the worse of me. i am just very tainted by that feeling of being shunned by many people that i have loved in the christian circle.
- if you haven't noticed... i haven't really changed all that much as a person. a year hasn't changed too much of what i think, feel and do. i love being bitter. i love being mean. i love being sarcastic. i love being the way i am and not having to force myself to be something else to fit in.

2007-01-25T10:55:00.000-05:00

i'm such a lazy blogger.
ugh...

anyway.
so i was on the world vision page... and i found this thing that i experienced at urbana.. and thought i'd post the link up here for those who (still) read my blog. it's called the World Aids Experience... and when i did it at urbana, i had to walk through the life of a child that was either infected and/or affected by AIDS. just catching a small glimpse of what happens to a child that's affected in some way by AIDs really brought light to how big the situation was in the world to me and how much help is needed in spreading the word on how to fight against AIDs.

anyway.. here's the link.
CLICK

hopefully you guys will be touched by the stories and you will do your part in some way to help those children out as well! :)

2007-01-10T16:27:00.000-05:00

after a long and hard fight... i gave up and caved in and got facebook. i can't believe it. i'm so ashamed of myself. *sob* :P

as for other news...

happy 1yr! :) :) :)

i heart you... to death! kekeke.

2007-01-03T12:14:00.000-05:00

back from urbana....

and i'm spiritually... healed. :)

i won't say that urbana was a way of God restoring my faith or anything. nor would i say it was like a huge spiritual high where God light a huge burning fire which will quickly diminish. all i can really say is that God really opened my eyes to the realities of this world. he showed me how even though i'm such a small (not literally... but metaphorically.... since my body size is kinda huge) person in comparison to his great works.. i still have a HUGE part in it in MAKING it work.

God sent us all down for a mission.. and it's MY job to fulfill that mission that he's put me to. like what Bono said during the AIDS night... why ask God to bless the ideas and goals we have in our heads.. when there's work for us to do from the beginning that's ALREADY been blessed.

we have a calling guys and girls :) and it's our job to continuously strive to find it and DO IT!!!

2006-12-14T13:34:00.000-05:00

in 4 days...

i will be in

HOLGUIN, CUBA!!!!

and when i get there... i better have a view like this one... :P or at least one that's similar to this guy's picture...

(i stole this picture from some person's picture site. :P)

2006-12-12T14:47:00.000-05:00

i got a haircut.

a short short haircut.

a haircut that kinda reminds me of a mullet.

a haircut which will remind me ~~never~~ to go to the same place again. :P

and in the words of damien rice... it "may drive me CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY"

but i think i will ^survive.. :P

btw... the scrubs video also reminds me of ray's relationship with maged (his friend..:P). haha... i wouldn't be surprised if they got matching bracelets and broke out into song about their "manly" ~~relationship~~ friendship with each other.

2006-12-12T00:09:00.000-05:00

Scrubs Music Video -- Guy Love

this is why i love watching scrubs :)

2006-11-30T10:40:00.000-05:00

i have officially been promoted :) yay!!!

and happy birthday to my lovelies:D... joeie, becky and olivia!

2006-11-22T01:57:00.000-05:00

i've been feeling pretty down lately. i don't know why exactly.

maybe it's because i keep thinking back to what happened last year around this time.

one year has passed... and i still can't kick away the anger, resentment, bitterness and guilt. sometimes i want to call certain ppl up... say hurtful things to them.. make them feel guilty for the hurt they've caused me... and then hang up. other times i just want to pull them aside whenever i see them at school or at ccf and just ask them why the hell they stopped talking to me for reasons that truly don't concern them. and there are even more times where i just see those ppl and... ignore them.. or try to ignore them and pretend everything is fine and dandy in my life.

but who am i kidding?

i'm not fine. i'm broken. i've been broken since this time last year. no eating, sleeping, shopping, writing, denial, boyfriend, reading, or work can take me away from what's really hurting inside.

sometimes i just wish i can be like those ppl that hurt me and move on with my life. but unfortunately... unlike them... they all still have each other. whereas for me..? i was the sucker for wanting in on the group and realizing that because of one person... 129032903 ppl would stop talking to me. because of those ppl.. i can't make any new friends anymore or trust anyone. because of them.. i don't want to even keep contact with my existing friends who actually care about me.

sigh... maybe all i really want is just some stupid pity from everyone. or just acknowledgement from them that i was.. and still am important in their life.

o well... fat chance of that happening.

2006-11-03T19:31:00.000-05:00

when you're studying... everything on the internet you never really thought was interesting seems to consume 120% of your attention.

i finally got my osap stuff done. but then.. i don't understand how i STILL have to wait 4-6 weeks for it. ugh... why would the ontario government build the osap application office all the way up in THUNDER freaking BAY?! i mean... HELLO?! there's like... a GAZILLION of us in SOUTHERN ONTARIO that needs osap more than like... the 20 ppl up in thunder bay. and plus... having it down near the southern parts of ontario would probably quicken all the processing time since it wouldn't take them like... 1278912837293 weeks to send things back to students. ugh... i hate york. i hate osap. i hate the stupid system we have with osap.

2006-10-31T19:47:00.000-05:00

i'm so not addicted to blogging now.

which is a REALLY good thing. :p

i'm procrastinating in my studying. which is REAL bad. o well... it's bound to happen either way... whether it be blogging or reading some random stuff online or.. i dunno what else. :)

thought i'd indulge you all in some photos from september. :D haven't posted pictures in a long time. actually.. haven't really taken any pictures for a while either.

ANYWAY... sooo.. let's start with september 15th.

if you don't know who that guy is that i took a picture with.. his name is HOWARD SCHULTZ aka CEO of starbucks aka the big boss that pays me aka my rice provider. haha.
i got a chance to meet him when he came to toronto for the first time during the film festival. i think i made an everlasting impression to him by the way i approached him. trust me.. it wasn't the type of everlasting impression ANYONE would wanna give someone for the first time.... especially the CEO of ANY company (let alone the one you work for)

abby runs up to howard schultz and taps him REAL hard on the shoulders
howard schultz turns around looking a the panting and sweating abby with an awkward glance

abby: (talking real fast) ummm... *pant pant* hi mr schultz! i work here (pointing to the starbucks) and uhh.... can you autograph this book?!

howard schultz: uhh... sure.

abby: (hands the book to schultz and still talking real fast) omg... i thought i was gonna miss you and i was running from the station. my parents are gonna be so flabbergasted when they hear about this.. blah blah blah blah blah... CAN YOU SIGN MY BOOK?!?!

howard: calm down and catch your breath...! (smiles) what's your name?

abby: *pant pant* ABBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

howard: uhh... ok... abby. (writes some stuff in the book)

abby: CAN I TAKE A PICTURE WITH YOU AS WELL!??! i have a CAMERA!!!

howard: uhh... sure....?...

abby: (leaping for joy inside her mind and poses with schultz for a picture)

raymond kung: (shakes his head in disgust and embarrassment as he watches his girlfriend interact in the most tasteless and random way ever to their boss.. as well as realizing his gf REALLY has no shame at all)

yep... and that's how i got to take a picture with howard schultz and get him to sign the book he wrote and i bought for my high school project about him. too bad my parents weren't really interested in my story. my mom asked my why i didn't ask him for a better job.. and that was about all the interest that i got. my co-workers posted up pictures of me talking with schultz in the backroom of our store and still laughs at me for my idiocy. o well... at least I GOT MY BOOK SIGNED AND A PICTURE WITH HIM! muhahahahaha.

next set of pictures... september 16th.. MY B-DAY!!

ray and i had a pretty mellow day that day. he took me out to do what i love to do all the time... which is shopping. haha. and we ended up going to Sushi Train on yonge. it's the new sushi restaurant which serves their dishes on a conveyor belt. kinda pricey... and not that much selection.. but still.. we had a nice time. and it was the first time ray ever tasted toro. yummmm :)

he surprised me the night before with my favorite type of flowers.. yellow roses! and we posed with my pretty bouquet(sp??) :) hehe. *blush*

september 28th... mid-autumn latern festival show @ontario place

got to go hang out with ray, joeie and their parents at the latern show. they had really spectacular laterns. unfortunately.. the lense on my camera got stuck early on that night.. so i didn't get much pictures as i'd hope on my camera.

lastly... september 30th.. ccf amazing race!!

the race was long and tiring... but i had a TON of fun with becky and chunling on my team!

that's it with pictures for now. hopefully i'll update again soon :)
back to studying

2006-09-16T14:33:00.000-04:00

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

yay! i'm 21 today!

thx Daddy for 21 extraordinary years :)

2006-09-06T17:03:00.000-04:00

wow... summer kinda wrapped really quickly.

before you know it... i have to go back to school tomorrow. kinda sad.. yet... relieved. at least now i won't feel like i have absolutely nothing useful to do.

with a new term in school also comes a new term in serving for worship at ntcbc. i'm totally psyched. i feel like God is really "testing" me in many different ways this term. yet... i still feel so weak in knowing that i'm slowly losing my nerve even before i go up for the first time to do worship with my new team. i feel like i get easily offended when ppl do stuff that are supposedly what the "leader" does. but hopefully God will humble me in every way that He could in order to show me that i'm not one person manning the team. hopefully i will truly understand what it means to take directions from God and to learn how to deal with the different issues that come up without taking offence at anyone. i pray that i can learn to love my teammates even if it feels like before i even know them they're kinda driving me off the walls... :(

anyway.. i better get back to what i need to do.

2006-08-22T14:39:00.000-04:00

i went on my first cottage/kinda camping trip ever in my entire life.

lemme list you all the goods and bads of the trip:
good
-i had fun spending time w/ray, joeie and their parents
-i got to canoe for the first time
-i saw not one but TWO shooting stars for the first time in my life
-the view from the "cottage" of the private pond was spectacular
-i finally know what an outhouse looks like
bad
-it took us over 30mins to WALK into where we were staying
-all of us had 237829173921 mosquito bites from the trip
-i had to pee in bushes/grass because i couldn't put myself through the nasty smells and the actual idea of peeing in an outhouse
-the cottage turned out to be a shack
-i couldn't take a shower because there was no bathroom and i didn't know how to swim nor did i want to swim in the stagnant pond
-there was nothing to do other than eat, sleep, canoe, be part of the mosquito buffet
-we had to leave the place after one night because we realized the chinese ppl cannot survive in the wilderness that way

so overall... it was an alright.. close to bad trip.
i don't think i will ever go REAL camping... nor would ray's family dare to bring me since i attract mosquitoes left, right and centre. it got so bad to the point where i couldn't really care if mosquitoes were biting me anymore... it felt like my whole body was one big mosquito bite.

anyway.. almost time to go to work. i just electricuted myself when i was trying to dry clothes in the dryer. hmph. now my wrist is kinda red. *sob* hopefully i won't eletricute myself another time when i'm cleaning the urn stations at work tonight. :(

one more thing... i went to HOOTERS for the first time EVER in my life. (there's been a lot of "first time" things happening to me lately :P) first of all.. the girls aren't all that hot. they have the boobs and the butt... but honestly... absolutely NO BRAINS. and their all you can eat wings deal.... is not all so great either. i felt pretty nasty afterwards.
so yah... to all you guys out there... it's totally not worth going to hooters. you'd probably have to knock back a couple of $15.99 pitchers of beer (it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXPENSIVE FOR BEER!!!) before you find those girls smart and attractive.

2006-08-05T01:35:00.000-04:00

after tonight.. i realised how much i don't like clubbing.. and how i would never go clubbing again unless i really have to.

what a waste of my time and money.

2006-07-31T09:26:00.000-04:00

i feel really sad to hear news like this... click here

maybe those ppl were really doing illegal religious stuff... i dunno. it's just really saddening though that those who are working for the Lord in China have to do so in such a tiring and secretive way. they constantly put their lives into danger for His will. i feel somewhat ashamed that i hardly do anything for God... and to have to hear of such news...... sighh... just makes me feel even more guilty of the lack of work i do.

i really pray that God will change hearts... especially in the government... in China.

2006-07-25T22:49:00.000-04:00

pictures... pictures... AND MORE PICTURES!!

serena's bachelorette @Ten Restaurant/Lounge(aka cougar bar [not that serena is a cougar of course!]... :P hehe)

jony and susan's last day in toronto

serena & ray's wedding!!

i was so emotional when i was at the ceremony.. :P anyway...
CONGRATS TO RAY AND SERENA!!! yayyyy!!!

2006-07-20T21:57:00.000-04:00

an old lady just rammed her trolley full of garbage into and then KICKED me at starbucks.

WHAT THE FREAK...?!!!!

i was just talking on the phone with ruth... and the next thing you know this woman attacks me for no good reason. oh.. not only did she attack me verbally.. but she said i was doing illegal stuff with my phone in the store while i was talking into it. what was even more funny about this retarded and dillusional woman was that she said she knew how my type "worked" and she went on to asking me if i lived around queen or college park. wait wait.. there's MORE. she calls me a poor student that probably works around chinatown for a living. OH... the best part... she says that she trains criminals.. and therefore she recognized me as one of those ppl.

ok woman...
yah.. you got the poor student part right.
BUT I DON'T FRICKEN WORK IN FRICKEN CHINATOWN.
i don't need to do criminal acts at my boyfriend's store.
and lastly... I DON'T NEED YOU TO DO JUSTICE BY FRICKEN RAMMING YOUR TROLLEY AND THEN KICKING ME WHILE I'M TALKING ON THE FRICKEN PHONE. have you heard of OR SEEN FRICKEN SECURITY CAMERAS IN A FRICKEN STARBUCKS?

obviously not.

so why don't you just go back to the fricken looney bin and stay there.

2006-07-14T12:45:00.000-04:00

i am addicted to these two sites...

click #1
click #2

ray hates the fact that i visit them everyday. BUT I LOVE IT!!! haha. it feeds my daily dose of noseyness :P

anyway. so the post about pittsburgH(with an H at the end) and beaver.
it was a nice trip. kinda eye-opening. like what ray wong said to me... the only geography that americans know are the 52 states. anything beyond that seems to be too hard to consume for them. i have come to the conclusion that americans are just plain idiots. as well, they need a lot of help(and much more training when ppl ask for only the sandwich @mcd's). they should really come up to toronto for a visit and see that there's more than just one skin colour. anyway.. here's some pictures for everyone to enjoy :)

o6.3o.o6 - drive to destination PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA.

never trust Google Maps.. they suck...

welcome to Pennsylvania!

beautiful sunset :)

our drive into the city after we dropped off stuff @ the hotel

through one of the 10280923820 tunnels in pittsburgh.. we land @ STATION SQUARE!

the grand concourse and one of the bridges errr dunno the name :P

it was so dangerous... coz there were cars coming through and honking.

attempt to take pics in the dark...

the beautiful landmark building and cool bridges we passed through

o7.o1.o6 - jony and susan's wedding in beaver

a beautiful day to begin... only to be stalled by a bad accident >.<

hey.. but i KEPT MY COOL! and we made it in time for the wedding!! (kinda...)

maged, jan and ray had a bit too much fun with the bubbles... -_-||

we had some spicy cheese at the reception w/ nic and jan

the boys having some fun and the newlyweds comin into the reception :)

the leaning tower of wedding cake. joy and ray decided to make fun of it. hehe.

but the newlyweds didn't notice the leaning-ness... yay!

having some fun on the dance floor!

us with jony (the groom)

yay for canadians and FOBS!! haha. love maged in that pose

us with the bride and groom... and alone @ the beautiful gold club :)

o7.o2.o6 - our day trip to pittsburgh and drive home

the many signs of pittsburgh...

any many more bridges and tunnels

the ducky boat/bus thing.. "when you here the honk what do you do? go QUACK QUACK QUACK!" haha. and the peak tram.

the fountain sprays water to the music!

in front of sheraton hotel (not the one we stayed..)

car ride around town :D

such a narrow building.. and more bridges

the church brew works.. "featuring heavenly cuisine and divine beer" SO WRONG...

this place used to be a church... seriously.

we had a PEROGIE PIZZA!!! soooo good. but sooooo deadly.

in front of the church brew works w/nic's cousin. and another church turned CLUB... where sins can be committed or sth like that for their motto.

on our way to AMISH TOWN! maged had to take a piss... in the dutty washroom.

the amish ppl i asked for directions from.. and an amish buggy.

amish cows... amish farms...

on our way home... maged looks high on sth...

they had so many of these signs.. we had to slow down... and TAKE A PICTURE!

and that's it. for now...... at least.

2006-07-12T20:02:00.000-04:00

OKgo!.

funny dance.

2006-07-06T02:05:00.000-04:00

happy half to my hunnie <3
"...just like a star across my sky. just like an angel off the page. you have appeared to my life. feel like i'll never be the same. just like a song in my heart. just like oil on my hands. honored to love you..."

*pittsburgh/wedding weekend update coming REAL soon!

2006-06-27T00:33:00.000-04:00

i was reading kat's blog last night while i was supposed to be doing my essay (which btw.. I FINISHED ON TIME! booyah!) and it sort of dawned on me how much i miss hk/shanghai. talking silas during that time as well and having him mention to me about the church he's been going to in hk made me further realize how much i have misjudged hk/shanghai/china severely.
my trip in 2004 back to shanghai was one that turned me against the idea of wanting to live in china again. i remember how i was so disgusted in myself because i didn't touch my bible at all during the trip and i felt so weak in defending my faith when my mom challenged what i believed in. i remember i was so caught up in the materialism of the society that i vowed to myself never to go there to find a job or start a family. i labelled china as somewhere that was not safe for me spiritually to call as a permanent home. however, within these couple of years that have passed and my recent trip home, my fondness for the country have once again kicked in.
i have started to realize that maybe hk/shanghai IS where i really belong. as much as it is "scary" to be living in a place where my faith cannot be very openly proclaimed, the evidence that God's been showing to me (and probably many others) how He's been doing exciting things in the country where i can truly call home is hard to resist and ignore. the thought of God's name being proclaimed in the small yet busy city of hong kong excites me. and the idea of myself possibly having the opportunity to take part in what my Lord is doing in the city where i was born just ignites a certain desire to want to go back.
i don't know... maybe it's just a sudden spur of the moment thing where i'm kinda jealous that some of my friends are in asia. but this sudden urge to want to do something for God and to see His kingdom grow, especially in a country and city that's so embedded in my blood, feels so... good. haha. that feeling of having a vision of where i CAN be in the future (if God willing...) is so exciting and refreshing in my mind. it's a feeling that i've missed very much and have longed for these past... 6-8 months. and it's as if God's putting in some motivation for me to hurry up with what i'm doing at school so i can see where He will lead me when i leave university. i really hope and pray that God will continue to fuel this desire that i have to want to go out and serve Him again. i don't really wanna be a stale christian anymore. and i don't wanna sit back and watch what God is doing. i wanna be IN His mighty plans and be active in carrying it out for Him.

anyway.. that's my 2cents of the day. need to sleep coz i gotta wake up for work in 3 hrs... ugh.

2006-06-21T19:03:00.000-04:00

perfect example of what guys would do when they had a bit too many mojitos and taekwando suits are easily accessible for them to use...
(ray's bday bbq - footage taken by joh au)

2006-06-21T12:27:00.000-04:00

picture update... :)
highlights of the past... ermm.. month and a bit more.
(would post all pics up.. but then.. i'm too lazy to...)

o5.o6.o6 - Sarah & Rodney's wedding

o5.o9.o6 - BlueJays's game @skydome(aka roger's centre)

o6.o6.o6 - on our way to Andrea's bbq (on 401)

o6.1o.o6 - Ray's bday bbq (my bf has terrorists for friends...-_-||)

o6.16.o6 - Ray's bday @ niagara falls

2006-06-01T19:55:00.000-04:00

i met up with jenn and sarah today!! yay!
had fun catching up with those two girls. kinda miss my first year days when we'd chill at daniel's room in winter's college.

anyway.. i'm at church now. waiting for my worship team to show up. :P

i'm starting to not really enjoy starbucks anymore. i'm so frustrated at how they can't give me enough hours to work. i want a REAL job. a job that actually pays decent. hmph. God... pls provide me with a job. a PROPER job...

oh yah... i'm gonna learn to portion control my meals. yup... it's so hard.. but i need to do it. i overeat so much. that's why i'm soooo fat. *sob* i wanna lose weight. so i gotta portion control. and i need to exercise more. yes.. i must go to the gym.

my worship team is here. yay. jammin it up tonight at church ;)

and happy (lunar) bday to my hunnie bunnie.
ewww.. i just had shivers typing that out. o well... I DON'T CARE!! muhahahaha. love you sweetie.

2006-05-31T18:14:00.000-04:00

i'm too lazy to blog now.

i'm too lazy to do ANYTHING now.

i feel like a hermit crab. i don't do anything. i just hide in my shell.

so people... please help me regain my social life back by calling me out to do SOMETHING. ANYTHING...

i need a life.

2006-05-14T22:41:00.000-04:00

here you go silas... i'm posting something new.

i'm all sore from practice yesterday. my back hurts. my arms hurt. my legs hurt. everything hurts on my body. i wish that softball didn't make me work all over. ugh.

i went to playdium for the first time in my life last night! i had a lot of fun at the batting cages there. yay!! and i got to play a ton of games that i would normally never play. :P but i'd probably never really wanna go there to play games again. well... unless we go to the batting cages.

oh... had a really nice dinner with ray's family and their family friends for mother's day! the only thing that i didn't like was it felt like a competition with some of the people at the table to get the food i wanna eat before it all ran out. haha. ging cham. i'm such a pig.

anyway.. to my mommy and all other mom's...

happy mother's day!!

2006-05-07T08:01:00.000-04:00

pictures of my neighbour's pet pig... (that i forgot to post up)

her name is LuLu. haha.

2006-05-04T09:35:00.000-04:00

i finally got some pictures to upload from my trip to shanghai. sorry.. i don't really have any pics that show much of shanghai. :P i got my new camera 3 days before i left... so instead of pictures of landscape and the nasty river there or like... the oriental pearl tower thing (which btw.. is a COMPLETE waste of your money going up... i'd rather be in the CN Tower) i have pictures of my FAMILY!!!! yay!

my sister lana, mommy & daddy - having dinner

my daddy, sister and i - in the taxi coz my mom's car couldn't be driven (sketch story behind this... :P)

my FAVORITE picture of my sister. she looks like a gorilla here. MUHAHAHA.

us out for dinner again... :P

my parents... by the lake @ cheng huang temple

my sister, mom and me by the same lake

me with my mommy

me with my daddy (i look more like my dad than my mom.. :D)

and again.. me with my baby sister (who can't stop txtmsging her really old bf...-_-||)

and that's it for pictures for now... :P
i miss my family... *sob*

2006-05-03T11:07:00.000-04:00

i spent most of this past weekend in front of a tv.
i'm such a tv whore.
i can't have enough of tv.
i love watching the food channel.
so that makes me a tv and food channel whore.
i'm disgusted at myself. :P

and i seem to be having trouble uploading my pictures from shanghai. ugh. so frustrated.

2006-05-02T19:41:00.000-04:00

so i should be picking songs for a worship set for this coming sunday... but...i'm procrastinating.. like always. ugh.
i blame this on going to nevin tan's blog.

1) Bold what is true about you.
2) Italicize what you wish was true about you.
3) Add one true fact about yourself at the end. (Don't feel compelled to do this... it's kinda long and not as interesting as it makes itself out to be)

* I miss somebody right now.
* I don't watch much TV these days.
* I love olives.
* I own lots of books.
* I wear glasses or contact lenses.
* I love to play video games.
* I've tried marijuana.
* I have been in a threesome.
* I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
* I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
* I curse sometimes.
* I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
* I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
* I'm TOTALLY smart.
* I have broken someone's bones.
* I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
* I hate the rain.
* I'm paranoid at times.
* I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
* I need money right now.
* I love sushi.
* I talk really, really fast.
* I have fresh breath in the morning
* I have long hair.
* I have lost money in Las Vegas.
* I have at least one sibling.
* I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
* I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
* I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
* I like the way that I look.
* I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
* I know how to cornrow.
* I am usually pessimistic.
* I have a lot of mood swings.
* I think prostitution should be legalized.
* I think Britney Spears is pretty.
* I slept with a roommate.
* I have a hidden talent.
* I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
* I have a lot of friends.
* I am currently single.
* I have pecked someone of the same sex.
* I enjoy talking on the phone.
* I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
* I love to shop.
* I enjoy window shopping.
* I would rather shop than eat.
* I would classify myself as ghetto.
* I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
* I'm obsessed with my Livejournal/Blog/Xanga.
* I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
* I'm a pretty good dancer.
* I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
* I have a cell phone.
* I believe in the Christian God
* I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
* I've rejected someone before.
* I currently like someone.
* I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
* I want to have children in the future.
* I have changed a diaper before.
* I've called the cops on a friend before.
* I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
* I'm not allergic to anything.
* I have a lot to learn.
* I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
* I am shy around the opposite sex.
* I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
* I have at least 5 away messages saved.
* I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
* I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
* I own the "South Park" movie.
* I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Livejournal/Blogger
* When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbour or chum.
* I enjoy some country music.
* I would die for my best friends.
* I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
* I watch soap operas whenever I can.
* I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.
* I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
* I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
* I know all the words to Slick Rick.
* Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
* I watch(ed) Spongebob Squarepants and I like(d) it.
* I have dated a close friend's ex.
* I like surveys/memes.
* I am happy at this moment.
* I am obsessed with guys.
* Democrat.
* Republican.
* I am punk rockish.
* I am preppy.
* I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
* I study for tests most of the time.
* I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
* I can work on a car.
* I love my job.
* I am comfortable with who I am right now.
* I have more than just my ears pierced.
* I walk barefoot wherever I can.
* I have jumped off a bridge.
* I love sea turtles.
* I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
* I believe in prophetic dreams.
* I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
* I am proficient on a musical instrument.
* I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
* I hate office jobs.
* I love sci-fi movies.
* I think water rules.
* I went to college out of state.
* I am adopted.
* I like sausage.
* I am a pyro.
* I love the Red Sox.
* I have thrown up from crying too much.
* I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
* I fall for the worst people and have been hurt every time.
* I adore bright colors.
* I love Dear Abby.
* I can't live without black eyeliner.
* I think school is awesome.
* I think pigtails serve a purpose.
* I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
* I usually like covers better than originals.
* I don't like multi-textured ice cream.
* I think John Cusack is adorable.
* I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGI Fridays.
* I watch Food Network way too much.
* I love coaching youth sports.
* I can pick up things with my toes.
* I can't whistle.
* I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake slithers.
* I have ridden/owned a horse.
* I still have every journal I've ever written in.
* I can't stick to a diet.
* I talk in my sleep.
* I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.
* I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
* Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
* I have jazz in my blood.
* I wear a toe ring.
* I have a tattoo.
* I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
* I am a caffeine junkie.
* I know who Santos L. Halper is.
* I read trashy romance novels and I am ashamed.
* I love wrestling.
* I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
* If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.
* I cosplayed or know what cosplaying is.
* I have been to over 15 conventions.
* I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
* I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
* I'm an artist.
* I have a goal to collect every Johnny Depp movie ever made.
* I am ambidextrous.
* I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.
* My computer has a name.
* If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony. ... but the seeing people naked would be cool too.
* I have terrible teeth.
* I hate my toes.
* I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
* I have lived in either three different states or countries.
* I am extremely flexible.
* I love hugs more than kisses
* I want to own my own business.
* I smoke or have tried cigarettes.
* I have met a star from ABC's LOST.
* I spend way too much time on the computer.
* Nobody has ever said I'm normal.
* Sad movies, games, fics and the like can cause a trickle of tear every now and then.
* I am proficient in the use of many types firearms and combat weapons.
* I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.
* I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.
* I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
* I have played tennis with my non dominant hand before.
* I have played strip poker with someone else before.
* I read the labels on food, shampoo, and other things just because.
* I have emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.
* I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
* I can't stand being alone.
* I have at least one obsession at any given time.
* I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.... see Oriental Feast. It was more in the nature of an experiment.
* I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.
* I know what THACO means.
* I have a signed Tom Servo head.
* I'm a judgmental bitch.
* I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
* I was a Spice Girls fan and I'm proud of it.
* I have traveled on more than one continent.
* I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.
* I have seen every single episode of more than one television show.
* I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
* I have met someone famous.
* I play/have played a tabletop RPG like D&D, Spycraft, etc.
* I have regretted the last five years of my life.
* I owe more in credit cards than I do on my car loan.
* I've never had to work third shift.
* I read manga.
* I can bend my thumb backwards to touch my forearm.
* I spend more time with my Sims than I do with my real friends.
* I know that I have lived at least two past lives, but don't have any way to tangibly explain it to anyone.
* I can speak (or at least get around in) multiple languages.
* I own every novel Danielle Steel has ever written.
* I can't sleep at night unless the TV is on.
* I find Angelina Jolie incredibly sexy as hell.
* I just got married.
* I can't help but move/dance to a song if it's rocking the way I like it.
* I am unhealthily addicted to Starbucks.
* I have fish.
* I do some things that I would never talk about in livejournal/blogger.
* I like to hop stairs several steps at a time.
* I would rather cuddle than have sex most of the time.
* I love warm sunny weather more than the cold.
* I haven't gone to class in a week.
* Some days I am asleep more than I am awake.
* I am capable of completely suprising myself.
* I rarely (if ever) wash my hands after I go to the bathroom.
* I don't know what meat tastes like.
* I consider my pet to be my small, furry baby.
* I just lost about 50 masculinity points by filling this out.
* I have dirty dishes sitting in my bedroom.

TRUE FACT: i love eating mcdonalds fries when it's starchy and cold.

shanghai pics up very soon.

2006-04-28T09:55:00.000-04:00

i'm done.
i'm done.

I'M DONE.

thank you very much.

2006-04-26T23:46:00.000-04:00

i am back!!!

and i'm tired as ever. i spent the whole day yesterday in bed. i was up for less than 5 hours... and then... i crashed... big time. i don't think i've ever slept so much in my life. and no.. it didn't feel all that great.

i miss my parents and my sister. :'(

gonna post pictures up after i'm done my exam tomorrow. i think i should start studying now. :P

2006-04-23T22:01:00.000-04:00

flying back today.

i wish that i didn't have to leave. i wish had the luxury of having my parents and sister around in toronto. i wish i could pull shanghai closer to toronto so it wouldn't be so damn expensive to visit each time. :P

anyway... i'm thankful i got to take this trip. and i'm especially happy that my mom didn't do anything eccentric and crazy (like hosing down our neighbours) during this visit. :D

more when i come back laaaaaaaaaa. :)

2006-04-20T08:31:00.000-04:00

someone offered me a job in shanghai!!!
but then... too bad i can't stay and take the job. it'd mean that i'd probably be in shanghai for a good year or more. wish the guy offered it to me AFTER i graduated from university coz then i wouldn't hesistate to take the job. :P

and these last few days i've been going here and there and everywhere to try and get everything i need before i head back to toronto. it still hasn't really hit me yet that i'm not gonna see my parents for quite some time after monday.

things that i'm looking forward to when i come home:
- ntcbc and josiah (gonna push myself to start going to fellowship again!)
- raymond kung
- SOFTBALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!
- work work work (yes.. i actually wanna work)
- catching up with friends

things that i'm NOT looking forward to when i come home:
- people leaving for summer :'(
- adms4240 exam (EUGH)
- try to get into summer school

2006-04-14T04:23:00.000-04:00

i find that i'm starting to develop road rage. and heck.. i don't even drive. people in shanghai are CRAZY drivers. my goodness... everytime i'm in my mom's car i have a near heart attack. people here have absolutely no "driving" manners. they would cut so freaking close to you just to try to switch into your lane. if my mom wasn't that good of a driver.. i think just today alone we'd have gotten into 10+ accidents just coz of STUPID drivers here.

anyway... i'm half way into my break in shanghai. i can't believe that after next week i'm gonna be going back to toronto (aka much hated reality). boy... i better savour the last few days with my family. i'm gonna miss them so much when i leave. i'd probably cry them a massive river... or i guess in this case... a massive ocean. it will be niagara falls in my eyes and on my face. sick. :P

oh.. and no more hk anymore. boooooo. parents got no time to take me for the weekend.

2006-04-11T22:20:00.000-04:00

I AM DONE MY ESSAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

last night my mom cooked me dinner! the first time i had her cooking in 2 years. yummm. i love my mom's cooking.

and chinese infomercials are stupid.
"now i have confidence and can raise my head up because i'm using this cream that makes my boobs bigger. people wanna look at me and pay attention to me now..."
WHATEVER... maybe it's because your face is UGLY.. that's why ppl don't wanna look at you. and why the heck would you want someone to look at you because of your breast size? shut your face... and put your stupid head back down and continue staring at your non-existent boobs.

2006-04-10T10:20:00.000-04:00

the person i miss the most right now. *sob

2006-04-10T02:16:00.000-04:00

i just had an argument with my mom during lunch.
i got my essay to finish by tomorrow night.
i can't get into the class i need to get into for summer school.

i wish things were easier for me at times.

2006-04-08T03:52:00.000-04:00

i really don't enjoy shopping when it's with both my parents. i was buying clothes in this store and i thought of picking up a pair of jeans for ray. when my parents were asking me about ray's waist size and i told them my dad started making a huge fuss saying that i probably got the wrong mearsurements.

abby: (holds up a pair of jeans) i'm pretty sure that this size is the right size.
dad: WHAT?! NO WAY! are you sure your boyfriend needs THAT big of a size?
abby: well... he gave me these measurements... i'm pretty sure they're right.
dad: no.. i don't think so. those jeans are HUGE.
mom: i'm sure they fit... you know abby's boyfriend... he's pretty fat.
abby: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! he's NOT FAT!!! omg...
dad: you guys are crazy! tell the salesperson to measure my waist.
abby: huh? why??
dad: trust me. just get them to measure my waist.
abby: .... uh...
(salesperson measures dad's waist)
dad: see.. he can't be that size.
abby: ummm... i think you're skinnier than him dad.
dad: ok.. buy whatever you want. i'm not gonna argue with you. (walks away in frustration)
abby: ... (takes the jeans she had originally)

oh.. another thing... my sister just took me outside of our neighbours' home to show me this HUGE pig that they have as a pet. my sister started calling to it and it stood up and walked out wagging it's tail like a dog. my sister told me how the neighbour bought the pig thinking that it would be one of those mini pigs... like.. Babe or sth.. i dunno... and after a while... they found out that the pig was an actual...pig. like.. a normal pig. but they didn't have the heart to give it away or kill it.. so they kept it. and that pig supposedly eats some brand name sausages from the supermarket and nothing else. so odd. a pig eating it's own kind.

2006-04-06T05:09:00.000-04:00

so i'm in shanghai.

and apparently i can't actually go on my own blog to take a look at it. actually.. i can't go on a number of websites... which REALLY blows.

i'm really happy to be here with my parents and sister. i just found out that my sister is going out with some guy that's a year older than me... which is kinda gross. my parents seem to be doing quite well... and i'm looking forward to catching up with them more durign these couple of weeks in china.

amidst all the fun and excitement of being back at home... it's been quite a spiritual battle for me. shanghai has never really been a place where i could grow spiritually. but i really hope that God can use me in some way to speak to my family. pls pls pls pray for me!!

anyway.. i think i'm gonna end it here for now. i can't wait to go to hk!! hopefully when i go there my mom will pick up a suhhweeeet cellphone and camera for me!!! oh... i'm REALLY looking forward to going to disneyland!! YAYYY!!!

2006-03-28T20:30:00.000-05:00

had a nice dinner with vince fung last night. haven't had a chance to talk with my bro in a while. we had a really good conversation. :) thx bro!

i can't get the new shakira song outta my head. and because of that i have to put it on my blog. :P

i can smell jony's banana bread in the oven. it smells SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good.

2006-03-27T20:24:00.000-05:00

sitting in the car for 2+ hours with 2 living stinkbombs (aka GERROME TAN and NELSON "HM" KWONG) throwing deadly farts your way IS NOT COOL.

my tummy is growling like a... tiger.
:P
an awesome weekend in kingston indeed.
sorry q that we didn't get a chance to catch up. we have to though... i wanna know everything that happened in nicaragua.... or however you spell it. :P

this time next week... i'll be "leaving.. on a jet plane...!!"
but i know when i'll be back again. muhahahaha. i'm so funny.

no i'm not.

SH'NGHAI here i come! :D

2006-03-25T23:30:00.000-05:00

i'm in connie's room right now. just finished some really good dinner and watched her dance show.

connie fan lit the dance floor on FIRE!

hahahaha.
anyway... went around dt kingston.. and then went to RioCan to look at some more stores. thankfully didn't buy anything.. coz nothing really caught my eye. meh...

i'm so glad i'm in kingston this weekend. i'm so happy that i got to spend all this time with nt ppl. i'm so happy that i got to see kwan and q. i'm ecstatic to see connie. i didn't realize how much i miss my friends. i can't wait for summer to kick in and when everyone's back in toronto. :)

btw.. i love kwan sooo much. i went to his apartment to visit him last night. ended up jammin with him for a bit. (sorry dood that my knowledge of worship songs aren't that great.. :P) and after that i kinda just... told him everything that was in my head. and i love how he just listens. i think that out of everyone.. i don't need him to like.. coax me or say anything to me and i'd just start telling him stuff. that's what i really love about my friendship with him. same with q. i don't need her to say anything.. and it's (good) verbal diarrhea coming outta my mouth. haha. sighhh... but yah.. i'm so glad i talked with kwan. he's always been there for me at the right time in the right place. mmmhmmm. thankful for having this BIC in my life. yay!

anyway... gonna be heading back to toronto tomorrow.. :'( i'm sad already.

one more thing...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONNIE!!! I LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL GIRL!!!!!!

2006-03-23T11:11:00.000-05:00

i've been swarmed with group projects lately.
there's this girl in my adcom group that i absolutely HATE. ugh. i hate how she thinks she's the leader in the group... and just orders us around to do stuff and doesn't do anything herself. freak.. half of us had to stay up these past 2-3 nights trying to fix up all the crap that she did on her parts of the project and make it "up to par" for her. FREAK. i wanna strangle her. and her nose looks like a penis on her face. (sorry about that comment. just kinda had to say it.... coz IT DOES LOOK LIKE ONE -_-||)

anyway... enough ranting.

i feel like there's still a lot of hurt feeling harbouring inside my heart that i don't wanna let go. i think that's why i've been pretty anal lately. don't really know how to deal with what's inside my heart. and i don't really have the guts to confront ppl about it... coz those ppl didn't really directly do anything to hurt me. i guess it's more of what they lacked to do that hurt me the most.
and for those of you that wonder why i haven't been really showing up to ccf these days.. it's because of me not wanting to see certain ppl and have this.. ummm.. anger towards them when i see them and have to try and act all friendly and bubbly and happy. that and also coz i don't feel like i've been growing all that much in ccf this year.

sorry if i didn't make any sense with what i just wrote. :P but.. if you kinda got what i said... just wanna add that i don't think i'm totally in the right. and that i need to polish up on how to sustain and maintain relationships with ppl. but i guess before i can do that.. i really really need to get rid of this bitterness inside my heart... especially towards certain ppl.

ok.. i'm rambling. and i seriously don't know what i'm trying to say now. hopefully some of you do though. :P haha.. and then maybe you guys can explain all this back to me for me to process it through and understand really what i've been feeling. HAHHAAHA.

going up to KINGSTON tomorrow!! woohoo! can't wait!!!
gonna cause some MAD ruckus for CONNIE FAN at her dance performance. haha. jk jk.

2006-03-14T01:05:00.001-05:00

holly brook is so good.

been thinking a lot in terms of serving and where i want to serve. i've decided that i don't really want to serve in ccf anymore. i feel pretty disconnected with my fellowship now. and i feel like i wanna serve more in ntcbc. dunno... still gotta do more thinking about this stuff...

ray brought me to the flower expo at the metro convention centre last friday. i got to see so many pretty flowers! yay!!! and he got me daisies. :) i was definitely one happy girl. hehe. and i'm sure he's happy too since it's an excuse for him to never really have to buy me flowers again... since my daisies are potted and they will continue to grow forever if i take good care of it. :P

me with the daisies that ray got me.

us at the flower expo. :)

2006-03-03T12:30:00.000-05:00

it's almost that time of the year again!
OHHHHHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

i expect to see GREAT things from the man above for my soon-to-be-existent softball team this year!

but don't expect to see THIS again...

2006-03-03T11:02:00.000-05:00

got tagged by ms-BEXY

1)Who tagged you?
BECKY HO

2)In what situation did you meet this person?
i met becky... in CCF last year!!! ermmmm... yah.. i was kinda intimidated by her. i dunno why. but yah... she seemed like the sketchy, scary type. but then i got to know her and realized that she's not all that sketcy. maybe a bit scary still though. HAHA. jk jk

3)How long have you known this person for?
over a year now. yay!

4)What is so special about this person?
this girl is just... special. hehe. she's special because she's a WOG and she's my friend! hehehe.
and also coz she likes the colour PINK! which is one of MY favorite colours. haha.

5)In your heart, what do you think about this person?
i think that becky is such a great SIC and friend. i've shared many laughs with her and she's always been one that i can confide in in many things. and just getting to know her and watching her grow so much spiritually this past year has been awesome for me!

6)At this moment, is there anyone you want to meet? Who?
i wanna meet my Daddy up in heaven. mmhmmm. and maybe someone like.. ermmm.. ryan phillippe. oh man.. he's soooo HOT. i've such a huge crush on him ever since cruel intentions.

7)Favourite memory?
what a random question. i thought it was supposed to be about the person that tagged me. ?_?
i think one of my favorite memories would be when my sister was a baby, we brought her to hk for the first time... and my mom decided that she should dress my sister up more like a girl coz she looked like a little boy. so my mom put her in the UGLIEST and most FRILLY baby dresses ever... and oh man... my sister looked BUTT UGLY. and coz her head was so big... she kept on rolling over on the bed when we were trying to take pictures of her. she looked like a little mrs potato head or sth.. with a frilly dress and i laughed so hard. i still laugh at the pictures when i see them.

8)Tag 8 more people

raymond kung, kwan chan, queenie chow, samuel hsieh, joanna wong, nevin tan, shu-ling lee, joeie kung

2006-02-19T11:53:00.000-05:00

so i'm back from ccf retreat.
didn't go in with much expectations... except for meeting w/God. and came back out... kinda being slapped in the face by God.

as much as i was going crazy and trying to have a good time with my fellowship peeps (which i really did btw :D)... inside i was just kinda... sulking. we were going through this whole theme on love and "love languages" and much of the time i was just thinking to myself... "mannnnn... i don't feel any love from my fellowship. i don't feel appreciated. most of the friends that i was close with weren't even really talking with me. what the heck?!" i was so disappointed that the usual ppl that i "hung out" with weren't responding to me as i'd hope them to. and like usual... i'd put the blame on them... being angry/upset/frustrated with them.

but as the retreat progressed and as we went into our last "session" with pastor Joe... one thing that he said really spoke to me. he said that we were called to GIVE love. and what's more was that... as christians... a lot of times we're so spoiled by
our church, by our christian friends/family with all the love that they give us so we EXPECT ppl to GIVE us love and that it's our right to receive love from them. but nope... God never called us to receive. our job has always been and ALWAYS WILL BE to GIVE LOVE to others. and when we give... we are to give freely without expectancy from others to give the same thing or more back to us.

when i heard that... inside my heart i felt a ***slap slap*** from God. and i was like... "oh dang..." God just made me realize that i've been totally obnoxious about the other part of this whole idea/concept of LOVE. i mean.. who am i to ask for love from others when... heck... i've been giving NOTHING to my fellowship?! who am i to sulk and be angry at my friends when i haven't made myself available to them this whole school year?! who am i to put the blame on others for not being warm to me when i have been such a cold person to them?! oh man... realizing this... all this guilt and all this pain came into my mind and heart. i've been such a lousy friend/sister/daughter/niece/gf to all the ppl that mattered in my life. i reflected back on these past years that i've been back in toronto and i was just... disgusted at how i treated other ppl. i was an awful daughter to my parents who would give up ANYTHING in this world in order for me to thrive in every aspect of my life. i didn't live up to be the role model as i was supposed to be for my baby sister and instead all she ever got was disappointment after disappointment from me. i gave up on a two friendships, one with a truly amazing woman of God and another with a woman who was struggling to find her own place with God... but both because i had so much pride choked up inside and wouldn't stoop down and see my own faults. not only did i hurt one of those two very important women in my life... but i jeopardized her relationship with her own family because of me not letting go of that pride inside of myself. i hurt an uncle that did everything to help me and teach me while my parents weren't around in the most pivotal years of my life. i was never there for so many of my fellowship/church/school friends when i promised them i would be. i was too caught up with my own life and my petty problems and my laziness to care for a group of ppl that showed me that biblical love and community that one can and continually do experience from God. and more recently... i've been just one crappy girlfriend to a guy that's been so amazing and truly have been so self-less, so caring and so loving in unimaginable ways.

what i've realized the most though was how much pain and how much hurt i must've done to my God... my Heavenly Father... in trying to keep those promises that i kept on making to Him.... and one by one just falling short on each and every one of those things i'd say i'd do for Him. not only that but so many times i would step farther and farther away from His grasp and His reach for me because i want to pursue my own plans... my own pleasures in life and forgetting the joy and the unconditional love that only the One above can give.

i mean... LOOK AT ME. i'm just... a flippin disgrace to anyone that knows me and have to be associated with me. who would want me for a daughter? who would want me for a sister? who would want me for a friend? who would want me for a relative? and who would want me for a girlfriend? i'm more than a handful to manage. i'm an emotional nutcase who craves undivided attention and love and care when i don't deserve it at all.

but one thing that God showed me that truly brought tears to my eyes was that in the midst of all this craziness and all my selfish and truly disgusting acts... He still loved me. no... actually... He still LOVES me. not only that but HE LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM. He loves me for who i am... this imperfect and filthy human being. He still loves me even though i don't know how to properly love Him and others back. and because of His love... dang.... people around me can still tolerate me. because of His love... people still want to care for me. because of His love... countless and countless times people forgive me of my foolishness and love me when i don't deserve their love. and what God has convicted in my heart during this retreat is that it is my turn now to GIVE that love back to those ppl that gave it to me. it is my turn to show that love and care and forgiveness and patience with everyone in my life. and when i show this love... i should not expect anything back. if anything... i should only expect and ask for more love and grace from my Father so that His love can overflow in my heart to others and that when i love they don't see me but see HIM. my conviction and challenge now is to continually thirst for that agape love... not from ppl but from my Lord and to be able to reflect that unconditional love in my life for others to see.
and hopefully for those of you that still are reading this... you can be able to show such a love to those around you and not be afraid to let God use this love to amazing things in other ppl's lives.

"Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." - 1 John 4:11-12

2006-02-16T09:39:00.000-05:00

my reading week has been pretty great so far! although i must say i haven't really been reading all that much... which is REALLY bad.

spent the weekend up in missisauga w/ray and his family and friends. we spent quite a bit of time with joeie actually.. which was really awesome! she ended up coming dt on monday and we went to salad king for dinner! oh mannn... their chicken panang is soooooooooooooooooooooooo good. even though their portions were small and the ingredients used were kinda... minimal... (we had like... 5 THIN strips chicken and a few slivers of peppers) but still.. it tasted soooooooooooooooooooo good.

valentine's day was pretty dull... since i had to work and ray had to study for his midterm. buuuuuutttt... we DID end up doing sth YESTERDAY. yay! ray cooked me an awesome dinner :) and we went out for drinks in little italy afterwards.
so even though valentine's day was delayed... and i wasn't showered with flowers or cards or chocolates... i still had one of the best v-day's ever! mmhmmm. mr. raymond kung seriously have outdone himself with the dinner he cooked. :D and i am a lucky girl to have a boyfriend that can actually make food... since i'm a terrible cook. >.<

to my hunnie: happy (belated) valentine's day! *muah* i am blessed to have you in my life. :)

annnnd....

happy (belated) birthday to: coolkat and vicz

hugs and kisses to my two lovely WOG's!!!!!! i love you both soooooooooo much!

2006-02-07T17:39:00.000-05:00

i hope i can get out of my shift tomorrow morning.
GONNA GET MY BRACES OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!

happy 1st hunnie!

2006-02-01T10:18:00.000-05:00

what happened last night during work...

abby is behind the bar making drinks and a customer walks up
customer: hey... did anyone tell you how much you look like scarlett johansson?
abby: stares blankly at customer then realizes what he says and gives him a "mr.are you freaking retarded?" look
customer: yah.. you look like scarlett johansson!
abby: uhhhh.... o...k.....?
customer: no seriously.. think about it! you do look like her!
abby: ummm.. sure. i'll take that as a compliment. .....thanks.... and bye.
abby turns to her shift supervisor
abby: that guy just said i looked like scarlett johansson. freak.. i HATE scarlett johansson.
shift supervisor: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHA.

no.. i don't look like scarlett johansson and i never want to look like scarlett johansson.
i HATE scarlett johansson.

___________________________________________________

my boyfriend cooks really good spaghetti and meatballs.
i've been eating that stuff like... 3 days straight. hehe.
actually he doesn't just cook really good spaghetti. he cooks really good... everything. HAHA.
and whenever he packs me a lunch.. i can't stop bragging to ppl that he made it for me and how it's sooooooooooooooooooooooo good. :) OH.. and the BEST part is when ppl watch with envy when i eat my lunch in front of them. muhahahahaha. i'm so evil.

i am truly blessed to have him in my life. ;D

2006-01-31T09:35:00.000-05:00

i love chinese new year :)
i don't think i've had a proper chinese new year in... well... years.
really miss all the festivities in shanghai... or.. in nt terms... "shNGHAI".

heard a really good message on sunday. it was about preaching to our generation. it put things into a different perspective for me when the speaker said that our generation didn't just include ppl in our own age group. the message got my wheels in my head turning... :) i wanna blog more on what i think about it.. but then my thoughts are all over the place......

btw.. i'm soooooooooooooooooooooo relieved that i got my osap stuff done yesterday. but then... the amount that they reassessed me with is not enough to cover all of my tuition. sighhh.. gotta keep on praying and hoping that God will provide in some other way for me monetarily to cover my tuition and other things....................

my hell-ish february starts tomorrow. yay.....
***abby runs to a corner and starts crying like a baby***

oh... i love raul midon. :D

Because a mystery girl is better than a pearl from far across the sea
And though you strayed far from home
Well the memory of you lives in me

2006-01-27T09:47:00.000-05:00

i dunno where my cutting board went... =(

just got a call from my mom. yay! i love how me and my mom like to make fun of my dad when he's trying to eavesdrop on our conversation. hehehe.

chinese new year in 2 days! woohoo!!! can't wait!

2006-01-25T08:43:00.000-05:00

my holey socks are on my desk.

today's pretty gloomy looking... and i still have to go to work tonight.

last night didn't exactly turn out to be that great of a night either. made me realize a lot of things.

btw... i'm starting to understand how it really feels to have ppl talking about you behind your back... especially about things you don't need certain ppl to know about.
sigh...

oh man... i hope they don't make me do the floors tonight... my freaking back is aching like a mother.........

2006-01-24T16:18:00.000-05:00

i have a hole in my sock...
i hate it when i have a hole in my sock.

work tonight... and tomorrow night. ugh.
means i can't go to ccf.

i have given up on winterlicious. can't get through to north44 at all. stupid phone line's always busy.

my back is hurting too. i dunno why.

what a crummy day today. can't stop complaining...

2006-01-23T13:29:00.000-05:00

this weekend was funnn. =)
spent it up in 'sauga w/ray and his family and friends.
i don't think i've ever laughed so hard during one weekend. and i don't think i've ever stuffed myself with so much food during hot pot. =P

friday night was spent @ Krave...
saw quite a few ppl that i haven't seen in a while...
if i had a choice.. i don't think i'd ever go to krave again. the music sucked like... ummm... i can't come up with anything witty to say how much it sucked. so... yah... err... it just sucked... a lot. HAHAHA.
had a fun time though... since it was for clem and rick's bday! hehe.

here's a pic of me w/one of the bday boys (clem), ray and ernest (my hair looks retarded)

happy birthday to my bday boys: CLEM, RICK and SAM HSIEH!!!!

2006-01-20T15:07:00.000-05:00

leela james is so good.
she does such a good cover of "Don't Speak"... which is one of my favorite songs.

You and me
We used to be together
Every day together, always

I really feel...
That I'm losing, my best friend
I can't believe this could be the end...

It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaning
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

i've got a lot of things swimming in my head again.
i wish problems would just automatically solve themselves in my life...

2006-01-20T00:45:00.000-05:00

today was such a good day.
i feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders.
thx joeie for praying for me... and for the things that you said. they were stuff that i needed to hear. =)

oh.. i got a new mouse! i'm so happy!!! and it matches with my ibook too! =)
thank you hunnieeeeeeeeeeeee! *hug*

2006-01-19T08:25:00.000-05:00

great.
i woke up right when class is about to start.

speaking of school...
i can't help but notice that the trend for a lot of girls this winter is to show MASSIVE cleavage and wear really low cut tops while it's -50 degrees celsius outside.

oh wait... i think that's the trend at york every freaking year.

women... cover yourself up. NO ONE needs to see your boobs hanging out of that top. and NO ONE needs to see you use your chest to attract the attention of your prof. especially in a marketing class.
we're here to learn how to advertise REAL products and services... not ones that will suddenly pop out of your shirt if you bend over.

oh.. and if you REALLY need to flaunt your goods... don't do it while you're OUTSIDE in the FREEZING COLD. guys will not think you're attractive... they'll only think you're stupid for not wearing that jacket you're holding in your arms when you're walking in bonechilling weather.

one more thing...

happy birthday to vince fung (aka "sexy" man of God) and tim wong!

*hugs for both of you* =D

2006-01-19T00:12:00.000-05:00

i turned on my ibook today to find the following picture on my desktop...

i don't think i'm ever gonna bring my ibook over to ray's place again...
thank you maged and jony for corrupting my innocent mind with that desktop background. you both are such sickos for having a picture of a mannequin's butt.

oh... another picture from Krave found by tUm woo...

didn't even remember them taking it....

annnnddd... one more picture from sarah... this was after dinner at montana =)

love these girls to death.

so many pictures. yayy!! i love pictures.

2006-01-16T00:30:00.000-05:00

"but i said no, no, no, no-no-no
i said no, no, you're not the one for me
no, no, no, no-no-no
i said no, no, you're not the one for me"

KT Tunstall's got me rockin in my (imaginary) boots w/her black horse and cherry tree. =)

i am keeping my mouth shut now when i do worship on sundays.
no more verbal diarrhea.
well.. for now. let's see how long i can hold it in for.

oh yah.. went to the highland's to visit my grandma's grave... er... site... thing yesterday. i dunno what you really call it. yah... you know what i mean.
i remember going there when i first came back to toronto in gr.10... i burst out crying.
but now... i dunno... i didn't really feel anything when i was there. if anything.. i felt really awkward being there. i feel like i'm growing numb towards my family. actually.. i feel like i'm growing numb towards a lot of things/people that are important to me.

...i feel it's because my walk with God is just completely... messed.
my priorities aren't straight. my heart's not where it should be.
i'm just... yah... inside my head right now... it's like a blender. everything... is just... mixed and mushed and... it's not a very pretty sight right now in my noggin. and my heart is just... all over the place.

sighhh... dunno what to do. dunno how to lift it up to God right now.

2006-01-13T10:03:00.000-05:00

a couple weeks ago during the break... i was over at ray's place and one of his housemates, maged, was telling us how his church friends make fun of him and call him "akbar". not only did they use that as a nickname for him... but they also made a nickname out of that nickname... "snackbar".

last night when i was in my advertising and communications class... i met one of my group members. and it turned out that his name was AKBAR. when he told me his name... immediately i thought of maged and i almost burst out laughing in front of the REAL akbar.

abby's group member, akbar: hi! my name is akbar!
abby: (almost bursts out laughing) ummm... sorry... what was your name?
akbar: my name is akbar.
abby: oh... (holding back the laughter still) *cough cough* ummm... how do you spell that?
akbar: a-k-b-a-r
abby: oh.. i see. awesome! great to ummm... have you in the group... snac- i mean... akbar! (turns away and starts to silently laugh because she can't believe she would actually meet someone with that name for real... and makes a mental note to tell maged, the FAKE akbar, about it next time she sees him)

anyway... i ended up telling maged last night coz i went over for some steak. yummmm....
thank you SNACKBAR for the awesome steak...! haha. oh yah... and good job with that mousse! (wait.. was it chocolate mousse? meh.. whatever) it was really great!

2006-01-11T16:46:00.000-05:00

awkward...
i accidentally sat in a class that was learning how to use the library catalog when i was on the 5th floor computer lab at scott.
good thing i left before they closed the door on me...

i doubt i can sing for worship tonight. my throat is still sore. =(

2006-01-10T02:09:00.000-05:00

mr. and mrs. smith was gooooooooooood.
angelina jolie was HOT in the movie. haha. i totally loved it when she went down the side of the building in the beginning of the movie.

finished the first season of fresh prince. thx renny for letting me borrow it. forgot how hilarious the show is. =)

to sam hsieh: the above comic was posted for you. it sooo fits with one of your infamous pickup lines. hehe.

stole some wcb pics =) thx beckz.

ccf girls @ wcb =)

having fun while dancing w/velsie and vics

oli looked beautiful that night! =D

love this pic =) joeie, me and becky

2006-01-08T03:13:00.000-05:00

totally made my day when i saw you at my door. =)
and the orchids are amazing.
thx hun for the surprise! *hug*

btw... it's not my fault if i can't remember the name of the orchids... i was HALF ASLEEP.

2006-01-07T15:28:00.000-05:00

i had the weirdest customer today at work.

abby: hi there!
customer: i'm not a man... i'm a woman. i shaved my head because of... mumble mumble mumble... (didn't hear what they said)
abby: uhhh..... huh? o...k......
customer: i want a coffee. i had it last time... it was cold and it was clear.
abby: it was... clear? (thinking: wtf...?)
customer: yah.. i had it here. they made me a clear coffee.
abby: do you mean an americano? it's water and espresso shots..?
customer: sure... if it's clear coffee... and it had sugar in it.
abby: right. uhhh... you can get sugar on the condiment stand.
customer: is it regular sugar?
abby: ...yah... i think so.
customer: ok... so i'll have a venti size of that clear coffee.
abby: right.......... (starts ringing in the order)

2006-01-07T02:16:00.000-05:00

got my jacket zipper fixed. i am one happy girl. =)

went to st.louis' for wings tonight. i miss their wings.
kwan chan... you still owe me a song. and you looked ridiculously handsome tonight. hehe. you need to dress up like that more often. =D too bad there weren't any other good looking waitresses for you to leave your number on a napkin.
sam hsieh... hopefully you'll get a call from someone soon. hahaha. mad props to you bro... always so smooth w/the ladies.
q... i'm praying for you.
gonna miss you guys when you leave for school... *sob*

work tomorrow morning... ugh. so not looking forward to it. =(
and it doesn't help when i'm feeling like crap... *cough cough* i hate being sick.

2006-01-05T19:08:00.000-05:00

i
did
not
skip
class
today
.
.
.
.
.
.

what an accomplishment.
well.. i was late half an hour for my first class... but i managed to stay there the WHOLE time.
i wonder how long i can last...

2006-01-05T06:54:00.000-05:00

it's 6:54am. i can't believe i'm actually awake.
it feels like ages since i've been in school and i don't know what i need to pack in my bag... =P
can't skip class anymore this term... or else i'm gonna get my ass suspended from school.
crap.. i better make sure i know where all my classes are today too.

i feel so sick right now i wanna throw up. *puke*

last night someone said sth really sweet. it almost made me cry... ALMOST.
i don't think sam hsieh can even beat it with one of his better pickup lines. HAHA.
i feel truly blessed. =)

2006-01-04T13:58:00.000-05:00

I'm stumbling upon things that aren't mine
Things He spoke to life before time
Name one thing that's not
One law or thought
He taught the clay
Molded it
Behold, He called the sheep
That's why they came
Sheep who by grace get a peep
And make it cheap by calling it mine

And I sing for grace
For grace it lets me sing
And all I've ever seen or heard
Or haven't seen or heard
It's His
There is no other
All of this is but the fringes

Behold, these are the fringes of His ways;
And how faint a word we hear of Him!
But His mighty thunder, who can understand? - Job 26:14 (NASB)

one of my favorite s&s songs. =)

2006-01-02T21:08:00.000-05:00

my list of "enemies" in Bang! have grown... i will get back at you guys one of these days. hmph.

party @ mike's was pretty great! there were so many ppl though...

AND I SURVIVED LEADING WORSHIP FOR THE FIRST TIME AT NTCBC!!! woohooooooo!!!
thx to everyone that gave me good feedback and encouragements. =D

here's some pics from clubbing @Krave w/my ccf peeps the other night. thx vics!! hehe.

lining up to go into Krave.

me w/my beautiful sarah. =)

tracy, velsie, vics, sarah, beckz, me - ccf girls pic!!

the guys - ray, vince "v-fiddy" fung, and tim (who looks drunk already. jk jk)

me and velsie =) (before i had a couple of drinks)

my first attempt at giving beckz a smooch on the face

my 2nd attempt. and it was a success. HAHAH.

vics, me, velsie

while we're dancing.

supposed to be ONLY the girls in this pic.. i guess tim decided he wanted to be one as well.... HAHA.

me and velsie.. AGAIN (after i had a couple drinks)

vince trying desperately to look fly... but not really succeeding. HAHAHAHA.

leaving the club...

oh Krave....... i will never go again.

2006-01-01T05:12:00.000-05:00

my heart aches so much...
but i'm willing to give this up to God knowing that He has the best plans for me.

apples to apples today @ mike's. just toss me the red card with the word "beer" on it and you will for sure get the green card. haha.
definitely one of the most mellow yet most fun new year's eve i've had in these past 5+ years i've been back in toronto.
i love my nt peeps. glad to have shared tonight and started the new yea with you all. =)

to the rest of y'all....

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

in less than 3 hours... it's seriously do or die at ntcbc for me.
no shame all the way through... oh yeahhhh. =)
thx HIGHSCHOOL(aka NGHAI aka nevinTAN) for helping me figure out call to worship! you totally rock bro. =) *high 5*

2005-12-31T13:31:00.000-05:00

i need to get better at balderdash. without andrea... i suck.
and with everyone going back into waterloo and queen's and laurier and yah... wherever... the chances of me actually getting good at the game is next to zero. hmph.
whatever...
potluck was good though @ tai jing and daniel's. jo's shepherd's pie was... woah... SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. like... SOOOOOOOO FREAKING GOOD. i didn't dare to touch nevin's wings though... HAHA. man... knowing where it came from.. yah... no. hahaha.
btw... i am so not a noob.
i gotta stop hanging out with you nt guys... coz i'm starting to use words from your random lexicon in my head. and soon they will come out of my mouth. and yah... we don't need that happening.... anytime soon.

after potluck... was clubbing at Krave. it was pretty fun. well.. the music was pretty weak though. actually.. it was REALLY weak come to think of it. but meh... i think the 4 rum & cokes and 1 amaretto sour helped loosen me up enough to not care. btw... that amaretto sour was GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. same with the jack and coke that i started with... oh man... that thing went down soooo smooth. it warmed me up completely... yum.
oh... i saw some highschool friends too while i was there. it was kinda... weird. one of them actually promoted the club... but i doubt i'd err.. wanna go back... coz yah.. the club was just... weak.

i just remembered that i still need to find a passage for call to worship for service tomorrow.
kinda getting nervous now... first time "officially" leading worship on sunday.
i am thankful that nevin and joseph are doing it with me... =) you guys are truly such awesome brothers in Christ to serve with. *hugs to both of you*

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But you will not leave in haste
or go in flight;
for the LORD will go before you,
the God of Israel will be your rear guard. - Isaiah 52:12

i struggle with security a lot.
i think i'm the most insecure person ever.
i know that my security can be found in God... yet... in the end i stray away from Him and look for other more "attractive" and "tangible" things for that stability in life.
looking back at this whole year... i think that i've been searching for the wrong kind of stability and security. and through all that's happened... because of my stupidity.. i've hurt so many people along the way. people that have been so constant in my life... people that were definite evidence of God's presence and God's grace and God's true security in my life. i've been so foolish... thinking that people that He's brought into my life can and have and will continue to disappoint me. but in the end... it's really been the other way around. i've been the one that's been continually disappointing others... falling back into my old habits... not even willing to acknowledge my own faults to those that i can trust the most and those that God's blessed me with.

i dunno how i can really undo all the hurt that i've caused to so many people this year. sorry doesn't even come close to what i owe every single person that i've hurt and damaged my relationship with.

Daddy... show me what i need to do. lead the way for me... i need you more than ever right now.

______________________________________________________

this song makes me cry.
this and "Have You Ever Been in Love" by celine dion...
sighhh......

2005-12-30T00:16:00.000-05:00

potluck @ HOUSE OF TANs was wicked. haha... haven't seen so much food in soooo long.
and Balderdash was so hilarious. oh man...
BLTI = Baby Loves This Itis
NAPA = Ninja Asian Pirates Attack (wait.. i think it was attack...? can't remember the last word... haha)
What Waits Below - rum and "ARGH MATEY"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. oh kenneth, richard and mike... you guys crack me up so much.
andrea and i totally owned the game! ohhhh yeeaaaahhhhh.
who knew that Sylvester Graham actually did invent Graham Crackers...?!

2005-12-29T17:29:00.000-05:00

yes... i tend to drink my alcohol real fast.
especially when they are $3.50 martinis.
i have no shame in guzzling down that alcohol in less than 5 secs when it's right in front of me.

heard lifehouse's "you and me" on the radio today...
it gets to me every time i hear it.

"cause it's you and me.. and all of the people with nothing to do.. nothing to lose. and it's you and me.. and all of the people.. and i don't know why.. i can't keep my eyes off of you..."

*shakes fist at lifehouse*

i hate how this song is so good.
if some guy sang this to me... i'd fall in love with them instantly.

2005-12-28T09:24:00.000-05:00

i had such a great night w/jess, sarah, vics and daniel.
got to go to montana @ john and richmond.
we had so many laughs last night. o man... i miss the sarcasm that we dish out to one another. hahaha.
one thing for sure though... i think we should avoid going into chapters ever again... for the sake of daniel. HAHAHA. we don't want him to attract any "unwanted" attention......

jess: thx for hammering down at me. haha. i think it's the first time ever you've been so uhh... blunt and honest with me about things. i love you for it. =) thx so much for saying what you said.

daniel: the meaning of a transvestite is... "a person and especially a male who adopts the dress and often the behavior typical of the opposite sex especially for purposes of emotional or sexual gratification". HAHAHA. so i think that better defines... ummm.. what we supposedly uhh.. saw.

i'm getting nervous about doing worship on sunday. uncle james haven't replied back to my email on monday about using the santuary tonight.
and i kinda dunno how to find all my worship team members.
o boyyy.... i'm gonna be so screwed.

2005-12-27T11:06:00.000-05:00

i am gonna die...
i only had one hour of sleep last night.
one... freaking... hour.

i had to wake up at 4:30am to get to work...

!&@*!(@*&)!)&#(&!*&)*@&($!&)*@#!)(

winter crystal ball was fun.
ppl... i want pictures...!!!

2005-12-26T08:10:00.000-05:00

To "walk in the light" means that everything that is of the darkness actually drives me closer to the center of the light.

but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. - 1 John 1:7 (NASB)

what can wash away our sin?
what can make us whole again?
nothing but the blood
nothing but the blood of Jesus
what can was us pure as snow?
welcomed as the friends of God?
nothing but Your blood
nothing but Your blood, King Jesus.

... so convicting.

2005-12-26T00:14:00.000-05:00

i am stuffed... like a turkey.
ok.. no. not like a turkey.

anyway...
hot pot is DEFINITELY the best way to celebrate christmas. mmmmm... so good.
thanks to my dear uncle... who came up with such a clever idea. mmmhmmm. hehe.
i love hot pot. *drool*

holz... thx for the talk on the phone. i love you tonsssssssssss sis!! *hug*

oh.. annnnnd....

happy birthday to my ah bak... SHU-LING LEE!!!

you stale cookie. haha. *hug & bday beats*

2005-12-25T02:30:00.000-05:00

awesome night w/ kwan, edmond, adrian, samantha, sam hsieh, queenie and vince!
too many jokes... too many laughs.
thx guys for such a great christmas eve!

bye bye to kwannnnnn!!! gonna miss ya bro. BRING ME BACK SOMETHING FROM ENGLAND!!!!!!!!
like... david beckham. haha. or... ummm... i dunno... something. =P

and to sam hsieh... THANK YOU FOR THE CHOCOLATES!!! I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE THEM!!!! *hug* you're the best!!! i'm gonna miss having you around next term.. *sob*

anyway...

merry christmas everyone!!

and Happy Birthday to my Saviour. =)

2005-12-24T13:50:00.000-05:00

the best version i've ever heard...
sixpence none the richer... so good.
wish we sang this last night too.

i saw this guy carrying a HUGE toboggan.. thingamajig.... yah... sled thing... whatever it's called... on the subway today. i wanna go tobogganing sooo bad. and it didn't help when kenneth and nevin were talking about it last night. someone... BRING ME TOBOGGANINGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

looking forward to the next couple of days... =)

2005-12-24T00:23:00.000-05:00

Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine, oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine, oh night oh night divine...

what an awesome night @ nt. got to see 2 of my sisters in Christ get dunked. yeah yeah. =)
thx nevinTAN for leading worship. you were crazy bro. no one does christmas carols like you dood. =D
oh.. and the choir... freakin... yo.. i'm totally speechless. auntie sylvia... i am in awe of this woman.

went to the ortho today... doubt my braces will come off until febrary...
sighhh....

annnnnnnnd.. i got a haircut today. FINALLY...
it was such a hunt though.. to try and find a place where i can get my hair cut that didn't look sketch in chinatown.
took me like.. half an hour to find somewhere that LOOKED decent from the outside....
mannnn... chinatown is just... freakin... ghetto. haha. but i LOVE it. =) i love the ghetto-ness of dt toronto. and today.. while i was searching for a "suitable" place to get my my haircut... i got a chance to go to these old malls and stores that i remember visiting when i was a kid. brought back a TON of memories. and it made me miss my mom...

anyway... christmas is almost here. yayy!!!
doubt we're gonna get much snow though before sunday. =P

oh yah.. THANK YOU JO FOR THE COOKIES!!! the tin can is soooooooooooooo cute. =D

2005-12-22T12:32:00.000-05:00

when it's 12 in the middle of the night... you have a craving for ribs... and you have ribs actually readily available for you to cook them in your fridge...
do yourself a favor... DON'T COOK AND EAT THEM.

i did the mistake of doing so...
and oh man.... freakin guy... did i pay for it.
i couldn't sleep till 4am coz i was so full.
they took so long to cook too. and i couldn't use the oven. grrrr... so it didn't taste that great. well... it was fine for me... but yah... i think to others they would've classified it as pure toxic.

so yah.. next time i want ribs.. i'm sticking with montana's all you can eat rib days.
yup. i will ever attempt to cook ribs ever again myself...

actually.. i should stop being so adventurous and buy stuff that i've never ever cooked before... LIKE FREAKIN RIBS.
if i ever really want to buy sth like ribs... i should make sure that a guy is readily available for me to ask to cook it... coz it's such a guy thing... cooking ribs. hahaha.
same with steaks. i think those are the two things that i have full confidence in any male making them.
haha.

i remember when i was still living with ruth... i'd get all sorts of weird stuff to cook. it was pretty fun. i even made curry! craziness. but then... i also remember how i would always forget to turn on the exhaust fan and the fire alarm in the apartment would go off... causing security to call ruth and then ruth calling me to see what the heck was going on and to make sure that i didn't burn down her apartment.
oh good times.

...tells you how bad of a cook i am.

2005-12-21T12:05:00.000-05:00

Faith based on experience is not faith; faith based on God's revealed truth is the only faith there is.

"Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God..." - 1 Corinthians 2:12(NASB)

heavy stuff.

__________________________________________

it's full out christmas/new year sap mode for me... until... well... until school starts. haha.

i love this song.
it reminds me of Love Actually. =)

make my wish come true... baby all i want for christmas is you...

2005-12-20T20:46:00.000-05:00

yay! i found my mittens =D

2005-12-20T14:22:00.000-05:00

i'm so psyched about doing worship on friday.
well... even though i sounded terrible during practice yesterday. meh... they've all heard me sing horribly at nt.. HAHA.. so it's all good.

so.. was doing devos...
But I, when I am lifted up ... will draw all men to myself. - John 12:32
it talked about how we as christians are to present Jesus Christ crucified on the cross. to expose sin and to show Christ as our saviour.
wow... that's pretty... heavy.
it sounds so easy... yet... not really.
it kinda made me think back to how i've been leading worship at ccf and how i'm going to be leading worship at ntcbc this coming term. it's reminding me of my conversations with shu and sam about worship.
have i been doing that job, as a worship leader, exposing MY OWN SINS and showing CHRIST as MY SAVIOUR through all the crap that i bring onto myself? have i completely missed the point about worship...? that it's not about singing songs to make ppl feel all warm and fuzzy all the time... but it's a way to drive the message that JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR US so that WE MAY RECEIVE SALVATION. have i done the job of presenting the real truth about christianity... that it's not all nice and pleasant... but it's such a hard and tough road to walk on...??
i feel like God's showing me what i need to do... my goal in leading worship. to be able to expose myself to the ppl i worship with. to expose all the ugly sides of myself and allow ppl to see that without Christ i wouldn't be standing there.. singing those songs. i don't think i wanna lead a worship set to make ppl feel good. if anything.. i want ppl to be convicted as i am when i go up to sing.

anyway... it's snowing like crazy outside. and i have to go over to my uncle's place later...

my urge to want to go tobogganing is slowly growing.

2005-12-17T11:06:00.000-05:00

thank you nevinTAN for saying that. haha.
as long as i don't start speaking the Tan/Lau made up words/language... then i'm fine with sounding like you guys. hahahaha.
yooo... watch kong on like.. tuesday or sth.. i gotta work sunday night!!

ccf potluck was great last night.
kinda sucked though that i couldn't eat much of the food coz my stomach was acting up on me again.
o wellz... NEXT TIME. =)
btw... vics and hilda.. i love you girls so much. thanks for everything. =)
and to shubak.. THANK YOU FOR WORSHIP LAST NIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!! it just makes sense when you do worship in ccf. =D thx so much bro for TEACHING me about worship. i truly miss your leading.

i wanna go tobogganninggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!

2005-12-16T11:23:00.000-05:00

jo..
no.
NOOOOOOOOOO... i do NOT sound like ANY of the Tans. haha...
see.. they speak in a completely different language. half the time when i'm with them or read any of their blogs/msn names... i don't get what the heck they mean. same with ken.
so no... jo... no. i don't speak like the Tan/Lau clan.
not at all.
oh.. this reminds me... I WANNA WATCH KING KONG!!! any of you Tans/Laus wanna watch it again..? haha.. since i couldn't come with you guys on wednesday. and you guys keep on saying how it's soo good.
anyone?!?

my tummy isn't feeling well again. sighhh...
last night was fun.
i OWN texas hold'em. yup... that's right.
haha.

ccf potluck tonight. yay!!

btw... i cleaned my room yesterday. it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO clean.
i can probably eat off the floor coz it's THAT CLEAN.
i'm AWEsome. =D

2005-12-14T23:21:00.000-05:00

vince.. you are so dead next time we go skating.
grrrrr...
you didn't just push me once.. but YOU HAD TO PUSH ME THREE TIMES and MAKE ME FALL THREE TIMES.
you are SUCH a LOSER.
yup.. that's right.
you jerktard. haha.
kidding. thanks for the secret santa present. alex & emma... what a errr.. great movie it's gonna be. anyone care to join me in watching it?

skating was tiring... i dunno if i wanna do it again. but thx ray[wong] and olivia for teaching me how to skate. woohoo!!!
secret santa at eaton was great =) and my goodness... i haven't been this satisfied with eating hot pot in a looooooong while. yummm. thx everyone for coming out today. you guys seriously started off my christmas celebrations with a good start =D

and mr.fung... never do what you did on email again. hahahahaha.